Tonight, Tonight
by Lysimachus
Summary: It's a ball. And Lily's going by herself. Nothing's supposed to happen...right? No boys, no romance...sure...[ONESHOT: RLLE]


**T O N I G H T // T O N I G H T**

disclaimer: if i owned harry potter...would i BE on fanfiction? I DIDN'T THINK SO. :

set in the Marauder era

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Everyone knows that Lily falls for James at some point. Everybody, even then, knew she'd break at some point.

In a way, she kind of knew this too, deep, deep down inside her. But it was covered, buried and it wasn't ready to unfurl yet.

It was destiny for them to be in marriage, there was a prophecy for their child. So no matter who Lily would rather be with, it won't last-even if she wanted it otherwise.

"_It was said, her first and true love will not be __**him**__, and she will love something that will be like anything she can and could ever hope to comprehend. She will fall into true love, and it will end in heartbreak," Trelawney stopped talking. Her trans faded._

"_So it's true then?" the woman next to her sighed. _

"_Hope for the best, Minerva," the man is talking and stroked his long, grey beard, "for whatever the future brings, we can expect great tragedy."_

000

The sky darkened fast. The sun went out unexpectedly. It barely turned a quarter to six and already shadowing clouds had settled in. And the stars tonight didn't shine amazingly bright. No, tonight, they just…_twinkled_.

The dance was a Celebration Ball. One, for spring coming around, and two, for the O.W.L. scores and 6th and 7th year grades being so high this year. It was strictly for 5th years and up to attend. Tonight was supposed to be the perfect night, the one to remember before you leave school.

000

Lily sat around and sulked outside in the courtyard. Her life was supposed to be perfect.

Good grades and everyone loved her, and her parents were so proud. Not to mention, about a million boys like her, including the famous James Potter. _What a pompous git. _She felt like something in the pit of her heart was missing. Everything else was held up on fragile columns. With that void, she felt like everything was going to shatter.

_Ugh, Lily Evans! Stop thinking, this is stupid. Just keep to what you have to do. You're overreacting. Go!_

Lily Evans walked slowly towards the Gryffindor tower, thinking about the ball. She wasn't running about like all the other upperclassmen girls, rushing to their dormitories, prettying themselves up with pounds of make-up and magical hairspray. She didn't spend hours in Hogsmeade stores searching for the perfect dress. No, she just had her mother mail a random dress from her closet back at home (which arrived today at breakfast).

Right now, she wasn't going to worry about the ball. For the next remaining hour, she had Prefect duties. There were kids snogging left and right, and kids setting off Zonko bought fireworks at the end f the moving staircases, causing six injuries, four being unknowing first years, and two being a couple that thought it'd be cute to snog on the moving stairs. _Well, at least they're in the hospital wing together._

She looked out the window. It was indeed darker than normal. Lily took her eyes off the window and kept walking, and found herself thinking of the dance again. She remembered back to this morning, in Potions, when everyone was talking about…dates. _Why am I thinking of this? This is of no importance. Whatever, whatever. Think straight, Lily._ _Don't. Worry._

As she turned the corner, she noticed someone leaned against a wall, on the floor, sitting. It was a pale boy, with deep chestnut hair. He wore Gryffindor colors and a badge. Lily knew who it was. _Who else could it be?_

"Remus!" Lily ran and dropped on the floor next to him. "What's the matter? It's not…You're not…"

"No, don't worry," he looked at her reassuringly, "not tonight."

"Then what's the matter?"

"I'm just tired." He smiled. Remus used his hands to get up off the floor, then offered one to the girl beside him, who was still sitting, looking up at him. She took it. "So, I'll see you at the ball."

"Are you sure you're ok, Remus?" She looked at him, so worried. Lily hated it when he was upset. He was never the type to overreact. In fact, he was more the type to under react. So when he was upset, that meant something was very, very wrong. And it bothered her that she didn't know what it was.

"I'm just tired. James kept me up all night. You know that project due this morning?" Remus paused and smiled. "He's always been a bad procrastinator."

"Potter….I can't believe you're stung out and tired from helping _that _bloke." Lily put her hands on her hips and looked at him disapprovingly. _Why help that git?_

"Are you _sure_ nothing else is bothering you? Don't lie to me," said Lily threateningly.

Remus just laughed. His braces were shown, and you could tell he was in true merriment. He patted her back and replied with, "I'm fine."

Lily could feel a weird sensation in her stomach at the excitement of their physical contact.

_What was that?_

She shook it off as nothing and started thinking about Remus again.

_Okay. Maybe he IS just tired…Okay…I never noticed how good looking Re-…WHAT? Lily Evans you stupid girl…_

"Moony and Evans sitting in a-" A familiar voice yelled.

"Sirius, shut up! You stupid git, all you do is scream and yell, am I right? For once in your life do us all a favor and close that gaping hole in your smug face, you incredible prat," said Edward Rokeby, a Hufflepuff passing by. (Someone Sirius had hexed with some sort of goo, just yesterday.)

Sirius scowled.

"Let it go," Remus said calmly to him. Sirius brooded, like a child, and nodded. No need for trouble the day of the ball.

Two boys now joined them, one, was tall, with dark hair, and the second, short and stubby, hiding behind the first.

Sirius was explaining to Remus how James left a few minutes ago, from order from his dad for spring holiday. _Good,_ Lily thought. _Now that insufferable git can't ruin tonight._ And she took a breath of relief after Sirius stopped talking. James Potter worshipped the ground she walked on. For the past 2 years, he's been asking her out every single day. But the feeling wasn't mutual. _He makes me sick._ So the answer was always no.

"…But you watch! We're gonna have a fun time without our good mate," declared Sirius.

_Right._

000

The clock in her room struck 6:30, and Lily's roommates had just finished touching up.

The door opened, "Lily, we're heading downstairs to the Hall, coming with us?" Stella Tradgemen was holding the door half open, with her other two roommates behind her.

"No," Lily replied. "I'll be down later. See you guys."

They shrugged and left, closing the door rather hard-making her jump up slightly.

Lily was honestly a little glad that they were gone and that she wasn't walking with them. The whole time they had been getting ready, there were fits of giggles and 'Oh, my's' as the other girls discussed dates, dresses, and make up.

It was, in its entirety, sickening.

_Just ignore that. Maybe the ball won't be so bad._

_If you believe there's not a chance tonight,_

_Tonight, so bright, tonight_

_We'll crucify the insincere, tonight_

_We'll make things right, make it all, tonight_

_We'll find a way to offer up the night, tonight_

_The impossible, is possible tonight_

_**believe in me as i believe in you, tonight**_

Lily had just finished getting ready and was nearly at the entrance to the ball. She could hear voices, and many heals running about the stone floors.

She walked into the Great hall. It was simply amazing. There was gold glitter everywhere, silver streamers decorated the walls, silver fairy dust falling from above, tall, velvet black curtains, and the ceiling was of a starry night, identical to what it looked like outside, only with candles floating about.

All the long benches everyone was used to seeing had disappeared, and replaces by tables and chairs, with a gigantic space at the front, for dancing of course.

The girls were all pretty tonight, but none compared to Miss Evans, who entered solo, through the enormous doors of the hall, after everyone else. Her hair untied and her dress black, and laced gold. She was smiling uncontrollably at the sight before her-completely mesmerized by the sight.

And she looked marvelous.

She chose not to dance, however. _What's the point? No one to dance with. I'm fine here. Just sit and watch…I wonder where Remus is….Wait, what?! _Why all of a sudden was she thinking of him? She concluded that she was just being a worried friend. _**Yeah, right.**_Then the thought subsided.

"EVANSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!" She knew that voice, exactly. She turned to see an exuberant and anxious Sirius, who had taken his tie and wrapped it around his forehead, like a bandanna. _And his shirt!_ It was partially unbuttoned. And he looked sweaty to the bone.

"C'mon, Evans! Loosen up! This is a _party_, not a funeral."

"Go away, Sirius."

"He's right, Miss Evans, let's party!" Peter raised his fist in the air.

They both looked utterly ridiculous. Peter had styled his hair upwards, like a mad scientist. Peter was acting more so as if he was filling in for James.

_Figures._

"Come off it, mate. She's getting irritated, and I'm surprised she hasn't jinxed you into a bowl of pudding." Remus appeared behind the two, with his wolfish grin. Lily could clearly see one sign that resembled-_the other _Remus.

The pudgy boy, along with the tall one, continued running around, yelling, and laughing, like baboons as Lily and Remus stood-silent at first-then started talking. He was just simply commenting on being around the people he was with everyday. Remus was taking a sip from his glass every so often, with his long fingers holding it gently. _How could someone like Remus, Prefect, and an intelligent boy, hang around these idiots, that he does, everyday?_ It just didn't make sense to Lily. But she concluded that he was way too nice and loyal to do otherwise.

About twenty minutes later, Sirius and Peter came back, _almost_ exhausted. _This is abnormal, _Lily thought, _with all this carousing, these two should be dead tired….DEAD tired…I will never get it…At least…that stupid prick isn't here to make them go wilder. _At first, Lily didn't hate James. The fact was, she didn't really know him. But after 3rd year, he started taking a liking to her and he was always arrogant and cocky. _Stupid prick, _Lily mentally repeated.

"…What do you say Evans?" The stupid boy interrupted her thoughts.

"What do I say to what, Sirius?"

Sirius started swearing, and talking about how Lily thought she was too good to listen. And as he went on babbling, Remus explained, and asked if she'd like to go out to the field by the woods with the rest of them.

"Oh…sure."

So Remus took her hand, as they followed Wormtail and Padfoot out the Grand Hall doors, through the flame lit corridors, and out the back, by a wide, green field. Just ahead was the Forbidden Forest.

Lily looked at her surroundings. The sky was a deep purple, black, and blue. The stars didn't seem like distant suns, but more like white Christmas lights, the ones her dad used to put up back at home. And the grass…it went a little past her ankles, and the warm breeze finally made Lily realize why some people say, "rolling plains." Everything looked absolutely stunning. Even the forest looked _pretty, _(in that dark, creepy, beautiful, weird way). There was a certain someone, slightly in front of her, still holding her hand, as if guiding her, and two foolish boys, singing and yelling with-_Bottles in their hands?! Are they drunk?! Where did they…oh whatever,_ Lily just let it go.

That breeze was very refreshing, since it was getting stuffy and overly warm inside. The scene was just so magnificent out here. And to think! She was going to spend the rest of the night, sitting and talking, instead of out here, with the most unlikely people. By now, they had almost reached the middle of the field, and Remus was still holding her hand, and now turned his head and grinned. That stupid, stupid grin, which made Lily feel like everything was okay. Even if that wasn't always true.

It was in her first year at Hogwarts when she met him, along with the other infuriating brats he made his good friends. But he didn't mind. That was him. And he was one of her first friends. He didn't call her mudblood, or smarty-pants, or anything else, really, other than her name.

He was grown now. Taller, his hair was longer, a dark brunette. It came down to a little past his eyes, with a few grey streaks, resulting from his…monthly transfigurations. Still, he was very handsome. His eyes were like the streaks in his hair, with lines under them from restless nights, she guessed. But, even though he's had to put up with his werewolf side all these years, he seemed _happy_, therefore making _her_ happy. How could someone with so much on their shoulders possible be _happy?_ She felt ashamed at times when she felt like the world was going to end-but remembers his situation. And suddenly she's grateful for everything. Remus was contagious like that.

At this moment-and maybe she wasn't aware-Lily's feelings for Remus started to grow. It soon was going to sprout into something she'd cling to, forever.

_**You're starting to fall, little Lily. **__What? What do you mean? Fall for…Remus? No…I…_

In her reverie, he cut in, interrupting her deep thoughts about him, pointing out something Peter screamed about a few seconds ago.

Pixies.

They were lit like fireflies over the canopy of trees, dancing, flying, some coming two inches overhead. Spreading dust. Much like the ones in the Great Hall.

"Remus, oh my goodness! It's so pretty!" said Sirius.

Lily gave him an expression of horror. Remus gave him a blank stare.

"…yeah…right…"

No matter how weird they thought their friend was, he was right. It was oddly mesmerizing. The forest looked like it was glowing. So radiant.

They were closing in on the forest now, but there was sort of a swamp-ish sight ahead. Where there was mud and white daisies randomly planted, the air, scented of water and grass. There was also some pixies, sitting at the edges of puddles, sharing funny stories, in their high-pitched, childish voices.

"The mud will get in my shoes," said Lily. She gave a rather twisted look, as she looked doubtingly at the muddy ground, with her arms crossed. She tried not to act bratty. But she didn't want "swamp stuff" in her shoes.

Then all of a sudden, Lily was lifted off of her feet, and onto something, specifically, Remus' back. She gave out a small yelp at first, surprised by his actions, but quickly held on to his shoulders and wrapped her legs around him as he kept walking. Remus holding her body up triggered that weird sensation in her stomach. This whole night was turning out to be something rather unpredicted. Who knew Lily Evans would be wondering out and about the field outside the dark forest, in a dress, held up by a fellow werewolf, accompanied with two drunken sixteen year olds, singing songs she couldn't recognize. Not to mention pixies everywhere. It was all pretty overwhelming. But nice. Very nice.

They walked though the edge of the forest, trying to not get too deep. This was like any other night in there, it's not like little mischievous creatures were going to care if there was a ball or not.

They got out of the column of trees and near some sort of hill place, with the same kind of grass back in the field.

She looked up at him, admiringly, and smiled. And then…just then…Lily realized something.

Remus was still holding her hand.

But she didn't mind, as long as it wasn't that _Potter_. Honestly, does that boy really think he can win her heart by being a smartarse all the time? No. Way.

They were getting to a rocky terrain, with huge boulders, puddles, and ditches to get through. Lily found herself stumbling a lot, but always managed to stay up. That is, until she got _cocky_ and tripped on a rock, which is when she let go of Remus' grip and almost fell.

Until he caught her.

Remus helped her up. "There you go," he said, setting her upright. She glanced at his hands. He had long fingers, with scars all over the back of his hand, complete with a bruise or two.

These are the consequences of a lycanthrope. A werewolf one at that. These had shown the prices of pain he had to pay, (she knew it hurt like hell when he transformed) along with the fear of social rejection. Poor little boy.

Now, she had not known it, but she stood there for quite a while just staring at Remus, still, unmoving, with a curious look in her face.

He said her name and she had snapped back, realizing what she had been doing. _Why have I been doing that? What's going on? I…I don't get it…. Remus he….oh…_ She forgot that he had been talking to her. He asked if she was ok.

"Huh? Oh…Oh, yeah. I'm fine. No worry. Let's just keep walking," and with that she smiled, assuring him, and ushered him to go forward. It should be noted that she was holding his hand tighter than before, but this was to the ignorance to both of them.

"NINETEY-NINE BUTTERBEERS ON THE WALLLLLLLLL, NINETY-NINE BUTTERBEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSS, YOU TAKE ONE DONE, PASS IT AROUND, NINETY-EIGHT BUTTERBEERS ON THE WALLLLLLLLLLL!!!!"

Now Peter was singing. In fact, Lily would've categorized it as more of screaming, as would any normal person, and could be heard way beyond the boundaries of Europe.

"WILL YOU SHUT UP, YOU ENORMOUS PRAT?" Sirius was screaming as well.

And this was all background sound, it might as well been elevator music to Remus and Lily, who stood by the trees, talking.

They were just talking about everything, as you can imagine. Talking about the past, the future. And Remus defending the idiocy of his friends, and Lily laughing.

"I'm sorry if it's cold out here. I wouldn't have gone outside if you wanted to stay in," Remus looked at the moon.

"It's fine! I'm not that cold. I'll be fine," she noticed he was still staring at the moon, which, tonight, was crescent. He put his hand on her bare shoulder. That weird sensation came back. It made her stomach do whirls and twists and it made her head spin. It felt like he was burning her skin. The air got colder, and the warmth he gave off was overpowering. She felt chills crawling up her spine.

But then in an instant, the feeling was gone. Remus removed his hand, and put them in his pockets. _Dammit Remus. Why is he so shy? Unless….he thinks that I'm not interested. What! Where did that come from?__** It came from your deepest desires sweetie.**__ What? Nooo…couldn't have. I couldn't possibly-__**Oh yes you can. The hand holding? Usually you object to that.**__ Well maybe…__** Lily friggen Evans, you like him!**__ Maybe you're right. He's so nice, and funny, and helpful, and smart, and not to mention, not a gigantic jerk like all the other hormonal teens. Maybe…just maybe…I've got something going here…with him…_

_**You're falling deeper.**_

She stared at him-the moonlight cascading down his face. It showed all his facial features well. Even with the scars and the lines under his eyes…Lily noticed…_He is quite handsome._ She smiled, moving closer to him. He curled his lip.

"What's the matter?" Lily turned herself to now face him. He answered back saying "nothing." She looked him in the eye. It was considerably hard though, seeing as his hair often covered them partially.

"You prat!" Lily said laughing, "You should get a haircut once in a while. I can't see past it!" She slapped his arm.

"But…I like it like this," Remus defended. "It makes me look _mysterious."_ He grinned.

Lily could help but express her amusement at what he just said. "Right."

She was now holding his face. It was warm, smooth, and pale, and tired, but content. _That stupid, stupid grin. _She would've slapped him playfully if he hadn't done what he did next.

Suddenly, he grabbed her shoulders. That burning feeling and chill came back. Her blood was rushing to her head, and her pulse was throbbing, and so was her head. She felt dizzy and light headed. They were so close. They stared at each other for a while, as he leaned closer, closing the space between them. And then he kissed her, first it was just a quick peck, which multiplied until they found themselves totally lost into this contact.

It lasted for a while, until a shriek sounded, breaking that pleasant feeling of him being so close to her. _Darn. _They pulled apart to see a pudgy boy running around with a pixie pulling on his ear, and a passed out Sirius, with about four gnomes inspecting him, on his head, crawling on his chest, looking in his ears…

_What the hell?!_ Lily grabbed onto Remus' sleeve, while he burst out laughing.

000

The four walked to higher ground, a small ledge near the lake. They had a dozen pixies trailing behind them.

The lake mirrored the dark sky. The only thing that shattered the image was the thousands of ripples made due to continuous rock skipping, by all four.

It should be noted that Peter's rock skipping was more like boulder chucking.

Lily took off her shoes and walked in the grass barefoot, then plopped them down on the ground. She then proceeded to sit on a boulder watching the three boys throw pebbles at each other.

She especially watched Remus. _The way his hair falls on his face, the way he smiles, showing his braces, his dark grey eyes glowing with happiness…despite everything……and-whoaaa... Here I go again…What's happening to me? …_Lily grabbed both sides of her head in frustration.

As she kept watching him, she had felt as though she'd been missing out on so much since she met him. Sure she favored his company over her other friends…but it never really occurred to her the extent of her feelings…Could he be someone she could fallen in love with? Maybe.

They had kissed, and what happened afterwards wasn't cliché or what she'd thought usually happens after a first kiss. Usually, things get overtly awkward and hard to handle, so awkward to the point of ignoring that person for a while…But that didn't happen in their case. Sure it was awkward, but it was _perfect_ awkward, _their_ awkward. A kind of setting they've been in since the start. They're not ignoring each other or being rude and pretend nothing happened. No, what happened was something they've been waiting for. Perhaps since forever. Only it took 6 years and a night under the stars to make it happen.

_What a waste of time! Him and I! We could've been together earlier…But, do I want to be with him? I mean, things aren't bad or unusual now…But this all-it happened too fast…_

She bolted up from the rock, ran over to him, grabbed his hand, and started jolting to the end of the ledge. The other two were still busy throwing rocks. But Lily didn't really care what they were doing. They could be setting fire to a mermaid for all she minded. Just…right now, she had something else on her mind. Her little demon conscious was yelling at her. Egging her on.

_**Hurry up, you stupid girl. **_

She signaled for him to sit down next to her on the grass, he did so. She took his hand.

Lily sighed and thought of the right words, looking very frustrated and confused, making her cross her arms and pout. At this, he started laughing.

"Look," he said, "If you're going to tell me something about what happened…_back there_…I'm sorry if I made you mad…I just-"

"What?! OH! No, no, no," she paused and took his hand again. "I just…wanted to be alone with you right now. Don't get me wrong Remus…" She bent closer to him, making his heart beat like crazy, and sweat like a pig. But she didn't notice.

"Actually…I wanted to say…Thank you." And there, she kissed him again, and this time, as a surprise, and deeper.

She pulled away, and continued talking, leaving Remus to sit there, soak it all in, and grin…again. "If you hadn't," she whispered in his ear, "I would've gone out…And have been missing out on something. Something I would've regretted not seeking."

He looked at her with his eyes so wide, that, it gave her the full visual effect of the color of his eyes. Remus was taking all this in so fast, that his brain started shivering, and shook a little when he took her hand and held it so tight, he was afraid of cutting off her circulation.

She leaned her head on his shoulders, and just stared at the scene in front of them.

Though she wasn't sure how all this would turn out, she was definitely sure there was no going back. And that was okay.

Lily could tell Remus was scared of her wanting to pretend nothing happened. But she wasn't scared of that at all.

_I wouldn't undo anything for the world._

She was sure she wasn't afraid to try. She hoped time wouldn't go so fast right now. She wanted this moment, suspended, prolonged. There wasn't anything more she wanted. Surely there wasn't anything stopping her from moving forward with Remus. Right?

_**You're falling for him.**_

And nothing, absolutely _nothing_, could ruin tonight, in all its glory.

_This is why events unnerve me,_

_They find it all a different story._

_Notice whom for the wheels are turning_

_Turn again and turn towards __**this time.**_

_All she asks is the strength to hold me,_

_-then again the same old story._

_World will travel, oh so quickly._

_Travel first and lean towards __**this time.**_

_Oh, I'll break them down, no mercy shown._

_Heaven knows it's __**gotta **__be __**this time.**_

****

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a/n: please review! it's my first one and i'm an ametuer at writing so i'm sorry if it sucks like...a LOT. gimme flames. i think i might need 'em. it's too corny maybe? "/


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